Is asking for support a sign of weakness?
Since the pandemic the word stress , burnout (energy depletion, exhaustion and decreased professional efficacy) and anxiety seems to be the catchphrase. In my last two years of coaching every second person and organisations complaint in these words.
Louise Hay the author of several international books says that stress is nothing but our response to fear. Fear of the unknown. It is lack of trust in ourselves because we don’t trust life. We don’t trust that we are taken care of at a higher level. So we feel we must control everything at a physical level.
Fear is a very normal and natural emotion of the body. It was originally made a part of our system to protect us against danger. All organisms feel it. It is there to take care of us. When we feel fearful there is an adrenalin rush which helps us to fight or run away or freeze. Yet these reactions are only relevant when we are chased by a bear in the wild kind of situation.
I met Neha(name changed) in a coffee shop. For first few minutes she talked about how stressed and anxious she is. How she is getting panic attacks which is affecting all the aspects of her life. When we delved deeper I figured out she was disappointed because of her latest appraisal and a generally super competitive work environment. As a good performer in studies she was recruited through the campus placement. She was there to set out the same example in her work environment.
So simply put, our subconscious mind does know the difference between being chased by the bear or a competitive work environment. It only process the feeling of “run” the adrenaline rushes and you think that you are in a life threatening situation.
By deliberately training the mind, these feelings can easily be coped with. By creating new patterns of a life full of joy where you can not only survive but thrive in your uniqueness.
I talked to Rashi (name changed) couple of times. She was angry and frustrated as she has a travelling job and the house and children were left on their own. Her partner struggled with his job since the pandemic had hit and the chips were down.
We took a stock of things, Reviewed the overall money problems of the family. We also worked on Rashi expressing her needs more openly and acknowledging the needs of her partner. Opening the gates of communication and setting clear boundaries are the keys of a blissful joyous connection.
I saw two more remarkable men, One was displaced from his homeland and another witnessed long bouts of war while growing up. Psychologically they can be categorised into trans-generational trauma and PTSD. The underlying basic emotion for both will be fear.
While some misfortune in some time and phase of life does nowhere indicates that it will repeat itself. unless we keep playing it like a loop in our head. As a matter of fact, the more we work on releasing these incidences from your subconscious mind the more we free ourselves and also become free to then design a life of our desires.
Have you ever noticed little children of 2-4 years of age? They have very little fear. They treat everything with a sense of exploration and anticipation. We were like that once. Over a period of time we are conditioned to become the “good boys or girls” that the adults around us wanted us to be. We felt obligated because as children it becomes a matter of survival for us. Children don’t know that they have a choice. As adults we can choose different.
Through these multiple case studies in my sessions I wish to open your perception to yourself. While unfortunate things happen, life throws a curveball we still have the power and force within ourselves which is readily available to create a better and brighter life. A life full of knowledge, acceptance and bliss.
While sometimes others may not be able to help us as we expect them to. Yet we truly have the potential to turn within and look for the answers there. As google, Siri and Alexa combined cannot answer all your questions and guess what? Following your intuitive wisdom will never let you down. A coach’s promise.
Life loves you!
And so it is.